You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
