arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
