i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If that was your dad, he is hot
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
