All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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