hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
