Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
