She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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