Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
