Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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