i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
