if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
