you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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