Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
