worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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