If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
