Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
