I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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