I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize