I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
