Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
