I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
