Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
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I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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