thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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