we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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