Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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