my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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