Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
