Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
honey bunches of taint.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
