Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
