Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
