12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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