I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
