i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
