Me too!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
