if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
