I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
