Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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