I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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