Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my phone needs a breathalizer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize