He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
