discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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