why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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