Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
