her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
