Banned from zoo.
Again?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
