I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
