Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
