had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
