dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
