p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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