Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
