in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
