There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
