Don't make out with my wife yet
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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