hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
