We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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