I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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