Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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