Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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