The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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