if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
