we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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