If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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