if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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