Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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