Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
